One of the hallmarks of a successful relationship and marriage in particular is being considerate of each other. Our human nature just naturally demands of us thinking about ourselves first. We are in short, selfish by nature.
We are only concerned about our agenda and not considerate of our partner’s needs. It’s always about me, myself and I. Who knows, perhaps the sole purpose of marriage, the two becoming one, was to kill this monster within each of us? Marriage calls for sacrifice, selflessness, of course without losing ourselves in the process.
Being considerate about the following three things might just save your marriage. The first is your spouse’s feelings. In the last argument you had with your spouse, did you consider how they felt? Did you even stop to think about why they reacted the way they did or did you just walk out judging them for being this angry person? Instead of complaining about how they reacted or asking them “sasa unalia nini?” why not consider their feelings. Find out why they are feeling that way even if you don’t agree with them. When we show consideration by taking into account our spouse’s feelings, we strengthen our friendship and connection deepens.
Secondly, consider your spouse’s needs. Instead of complaining about how all they think about is sex, or want is conversation with you, have you stopped to consider that might be their need and how best it can be met? When you complain about her denying you your conjugal rights, have you considered her needs that you also don’t meet? Paying attention to each other’s needs and meeting them ensures that our relationships not only survive, but thrive.
Thirdly, consider your spouse’s opinions. Do you just make unilateral decisions because you are the “head” or that is your domain, or because you bring much on the table more than them? Even if you do, it’s always good to involve the other person in your decisions. Make them feel that their opinions matter and that their ideas and dreams are taken seriously. That way, they will feel part and parcel of you and the two will flourish as one.