Loving your partner through anxiety should be deemed as one of the few love languages. This is because, loving someone with anxiety is not easy, it requires dedication and giving yourself wholly to someone even when they do not feel like their best selves.
What most people do not know is having a partner with anxiety is knowing that they are inclined to assume everyone you are going to leave. So much so, that sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship.
The truth is your partner is battling something they can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within themselves regarding relationships.
So how best can you love someone with anxiety? Here are some ways:
1. Remember they’re worth fighting for
It might be hard sometimes, there might be stupid fights over scenarios they’ve created in their own head. But more than anything, they’re worth fighting for, if you can fight with them through this, it’ll come back to you ten folds.
2. The phrase, ‘It’s okay,’ can never be used enough
I know, they are just two words, but these two words stop every thought running through your partner’s head. And honestly, you can never say it enough.
3. Sometimes you just have to listen
Your partner is going to play out these situations in their mind and jump from point A to point B, sometimes you’re not even going to know how they got there, the best thing you can do is let them go off on their tangent even if there’s no solution.
4. Don’t tell them, ‘you’re overreacting'
This has to be the most hurtful thing to tell anyone battling anxiety. To you, it might seem irrational, but to them whatever they open up to you about, it’s something that actually keeps them up at night. So just take it as best you can.
5. They probably won’t sleep through the night
Whether it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep, you’ll be woken up by them at 3 am as they lay there wide awake. Just hold them close and the comfort of your presence might be enough to get them back to sleep.
6. Remember it’s not that they don’t trust you, they’re scared
When you say it’s an ex and in their mind, they jump to cheating. You say it’s a friend and in their mind, it’s someone trying to break you two up. It’s not you and your relationship that isn’t trusted, it’s every worst-case scenario automatically playing out in their head and they hate themselves for it.
7. Answering texts timely does help more than you know
’Silence kills anyone with anxiety. It creates problems in their mind that aren’t even there. It ends in apologies that aren’t even needed. And it adds a layer of stress to their life they wish they could control.
You’ve probably noticed they answer embarrassingly fast and they know not everyone is like them but it helps when people understand it. It helps when you say ‘I can’t talk now this is why I’ll text you later.
8. Don’t be mad if they send a double text
You might turn your phone on, to four texts. If you can remember it’s not that they’re trying to be annoying. They care, they care too much and they know it makes them look bad.
9. Help when you can but know when you can’t
Your partner would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more than they can chew, and will never admit they can’t handle something. They’ll always say yes and never turn anyone away, in those moments where it seems like they are going to fall apart and break just hold them.
You need to help them if you can but know they’re inclined to not ask for help. Understand they’re used to dealing with things on their own.
10. Once trust is gained they’ll love you unbelievably hard
For someone with anxiety, if there is something they’re good at its love. If there’s something they’re strong in, it’s their ability to show you how much they adore and appreciate you.
It might take them a while to trust you but once they do, their capacity to love you will fill you in ways, you didn’t know you were empty or even missing something.
I hope this thread made sense to everyone dating or wanting to date someone with Anxiety.