Behind successful relationships, there is the labour of love

By , K24 Digital
On Mon, 13 May, 2024 07:00 | 2 mins read
Couple holding hands. PHOTO/Pexels
Couple holding hands. PHOTO/Pexels

Recently, we marked Labour Day, an annual day of celebration of the achievements of workers.

The word labour carries with it the connotation of hard work. We talk of women going into labour in the labour ward. We talk of one team labouring to defeat the other team if the scoreline was very slim and it took a lot of effort to get that victory. Labour doesn’t mean just any kind of work, but hard work, something that requires a lot of effort. Mwanaume ni effort we say.

We all wish for the happily-ever-after when we are getting married. We think that it will just be a bliss all the way. We think that the marriage will just work itself automatically. But when the honeymoon is over, we realise that it’s not just a walk in the park. It takes a lot of effort to keep the two together as one. They say it takes work for marriage to work.

We know that to succeed in life, work or even studies, we must work hard, though there are those who want short cuts.

But when it comes to our relationships, we expect success with very little if any effort at all. We think the two can remain one and enjoy being a couple effortless. We think we can just wish it into being.

For the two to survive and even thrive as one takes, it a lot of work. To resolve conflict is work, to engage emotionally with your spouse takes work, to become more and more intimate is a lot of work. No wonder we call it the labour of love.

Unlike the other labours, this labour of love is difficult because it doesn’t just depend on you, but on the other person as well. It must be mutual, it cannot be one sided. It’s like riding those bicycles with two sets of pedals where both of you put effort. When we each play our part and put the necessary effort, then we’ll reap good results. Even better is that when we put our effort into loving our spouse in a way that is meaningful to them, it becomes easy for them to respond in ways that make us feel loved as well.

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