With this new millennial dating age, it is common for someone to mention that they were ghosted in their relationship. For those of us who are not familiar with the term, being “ghosted” means someone you were in communication with, suddenly drops out of your life. Usually, ghosting is random and almost out of nowhere.
It is happening quite a lot now with the internet and the accessibility to just block a person. I have had this happen to me in my relationship in the past. I was very interested in dating and from the communication we had, he too was also interested. Then out of nowhere, he was gone.
According to one psychotherapist Susan Zinn, ghosting is pretty common in today’s dating culture. Though it’s still a passive and unhealthy breakup strategy, no matter how familiar it might seem, it drains the victim.
So why do people ghost? For some people, they perceive disappearing as the easiest and best way to handle a breakup since having a conversation to end a relationship can be unpleasant, it takes time and energy and requires managing emotions.
Trying to get over a ghosting situation? Here are some ways to cope :
1. Get Excited For What's To Come
Though it seems impossible right now, be excited about the fact that you will overcome this hurdle in no time. Greater things await you, so while you may not feel like getting back into the dating world at this time, know that there is a future where you will meet someone kind, mature, and emotionally healthy. Be patient with your healing, take care of yourself, and know that you will move on and good things will come of it.
- Choose Joy
While feeling all your feelings after being ghosted learn to find joy in the small things of your life whether that is simply lying in the grass with sunlight on your face or walking in a park can be incredibly healing. It’s advisable to remember, that the more you fill yourself with the care, love, and joy in your life, your confidence will build.
3. Double Down On Self Care
Ghosting can leave you feeling rejected and angry, and it can affect your mental health. No matter how hard it may be, prioritize sleep, healthy eating, working out, and work on reducing any stress.
4. Enjoy Things That Make You Feel Grounded
Engage in activities that make you feel grounded, like heart-focused meditations or hobbies that fill you up with self-love on your healing journey. For example, you can try to do a walk, listen to the sounds around you, and try to clear your mind of the toxic thoughts that can creep up when you're grieving the loss of a relationship.
Prioritize taking care of yourself and giving yourself the self-love needed to build yourself up again.
5. Find Gratitude
While their disappearing act can feel incredibly painful, it’s also a clear message of who this person is. A person who ghosts you means they never had the maturity to have a healthy relationship that included mutual respect and good communication.
Most times you dodged a bullet because clearly, they weren't the right person for you anyway.
6. Seek Help
Try surrounding yourself with friends or reach out to a relationship expert, and find ways to talk through your feelings as a way to heal and find closure.
"Ghosting can reignite old patterns of wounding where you might have been previously rejected or abandoned by someone during your formative years. Seeking professional support may be an opportunity for growth to heal earlier memories as well as having friends and family surrounding you can offer support," said Zinn.
7. Realize Your Worth
Wish them well, and understand that your worth and value are only up to you and not to anyone else. You might hate yourself just a little bit, is never a bad thing. If you hate yourself because of something that you have the power to change, then it can act as a powerful motivator too.
Hating yourself, to an extent, is good. It allows you to be more self-assessing, allows you to evaluate yourself, and provides an unbiased outlook on your overall life.
Among many other forms of breaking interpersonal contact, ghosting is probably one of the most unpleasant and even destructive ones. When someone goes cold turkey on you ignoring your calls, messages, and your other attempts to contact them, there seems to be little you can do.
In a romantic or friendly relationship, such behavior may cause emotional pain. In business, it can lead to broken deadlines, as well as financial and reputational losses. And yes, ghosting occurs in the business world too.