Radio presenter-turned-musician Tanasha Oketch has opened up about her break up with Tanzanian heavy-hitter Diamond Platnumz in a candid interview with True Love Magazine editor Carole Mandi.
Tanasha who separated from Diamond in February 2020 after a 15-month relationship, said the Jeje star had certain expectations of how she should conduct herself in the relationship, and when Tanasha did not mould herself into that woman who Diamond had envisioned, the musician lost interest in the affair.
“At some point I was a bit lost [in the relationship],” Tanasha told Mandi in a video interview uploaded to YouTube on April 1.
“Now, there is a child involved. And, now, I am thinking of my son, not only me; I don’t want my son to grow up without a father. I am really trying to fight for this relationship, but I cannot be the only one fighting [for its success]. So, I had to think of what is best for me and my son. Towards the end [of the affair], things were getting rocky. Things got rocky for the past six months.
“We were still trying to see how we could make it work. And then it got to a point where I felt like the other person had lost interest. And, I would not say it was because of anything emotional. It was because he did not live up to certain expectations he had in a relationship. It is nobody’s fault; everyone is wired the way they are. And, when you do not live up to this person’s expectations, for some people, it is not easy for them to handle. Some people feel like: ‘you know what, I already have so much going on in my mind, I can’t handle this because I had this expectation’,” said Tanasha.
The 24-year-old said she can confidently say the unmet expectations led to the failure of the relationship.
“I would say that was when things started going down, because I wanted to be my own person as well as be in this relationship. When you love yourself, you will be able to love your partner in a relationship. You will be able to love your family, your child.”
The former NRG radio host also opened up on rumours suggesting she did not get along with Diamond’s mum, Sanura Kassim, hence the reason her relationship with the multi-award-winning artiste failed.
“I would say respect the mothers of your spouses. But also, it can get to a point where they will try to get a little controlling, and that is where you set your boundaries. And, you say: ‘no, I am the wrong person to control, darling’. It all comes down to: ‘what is best for you?’
“Don’t disrespect anyone’s mother. However, set boundaries. When you feel like it has become too much now, tell them. And set the boundaries in a respectful way from the beginning. And, if you feel that it is not working, and you are trying everything you can, and there is no progress; that is the time to look deep within yourself, and make a decision and say, ‘Am I going to take all these BS, or am I going to leave’?” said Tanasha.
The mother-of-one suggested despite there being friction between her and Sanura, Diamond failed to defend her (Tanasha).
“He should also take responsibility, and say: ‘This is my woman, and you are not going to make her feel uncomfortable’,” said Tanasha.
Post break-up: How does she feel?
“I am doing good; I see myself as a strong woman. A heartbreak is something that every woman goes through. You may have certain expectations when you get into a relationship or friendship or whatever it is, and things don’t turn out the way you had planned them to. That is where you decide: is it worth fighting for, or you feel like: ‘uh, I had all these expectations, and now it is not working out so, I can’t handle this anymore?’ That becomes a decision you have to make in the relationship. At the end of the day, we do what is best for us; and for yourself, most importantly.”
Her advice to women who are in dilemma over what to do in rocky marriages or relationships?
“I want to encourage a lot of women out there to do what is best for them. Look down in yourself and ask yourself: are you happy in the situation that you are in? Because I feel like it all boils down to happiness at the end of the day. If you find yourself stuck in a situation and you are not happy, but you keep trying to find these excuses as to why this would work, and it is still not working, then you will have to look at yourself and say: ‘I have a decision to make, and it is not going to be an easy one, but I have to make it’.
“I have been in two serious relationships in my life, and I learnt something from these relationships. I never have regrets, regardless. I would never say: ‘I regret this happened’. Everything happens for a reason. And, it is never a failure, it is always a lesson at the end of the day. A lot of women tend to… including myself; I have been there, enter this relationship and you slowly lose yourself in that relationship.
“And that is where you start getting comfortable. And when you get comfortable in a relationship, it is not a healthy thing. Every individual should have their own personal lives; their own careers and dreams going on.”
Tanasha Oketch further advised women to “think logically” about the trajectory of a relationship, and “keep aside” emotion when doing so. This, she said, will help the woman make rational decisions on the future of her relationship.
“A lot of women do not know what love is, and I was that type of a woman. Learn to differentiate love from something else. It is not easy to bolt out of a relationship, especially in marriages. It is really hard. But try to look at things from a logical perspective. God gave us the mind to think and the heart to feel.
“Women tend to think and feel with the heart, you can’t do that; that is what the mind is there for. So, put your emotions off, wrap them up somewhere, keep them aside just for a few minutes or an hour, and then look at things from a logical perspective; look at yourself as an outsider in the relationship, and you will be able to see things more clearly and transparently. You will realise this person does not love me, he loves the idea of me,” said Tanasha Oketch.
Following her public break-up with musician Diamond Platnumz, who is the father of her 6-month old son, will she opt for another relationship with a celebrity in the future?
“When you become a public figure, there are automatic certain things that will have to become public. But, if there is one thing that I don’t want to go public about, is my family. That is why I don’t want my son to be in the public domain,” she said.
On claims that she got into a relationship with Diamond for his fame and money, Tanasha said: “Bloggers and the media are always going to see things from their perspectives. I was genuine in that relationship, I was genuinely in love; I genuinely gave my all, even business for this relationship; I was willing to go the extra mile.”
Tanasha said she will take a break from romantic relationships for at least two years from the date she broke up with Diamond.
On co-parenting plans with Diamond, the 24-year-old said: “That is something I would like to keep private for now because it is something in the works.”
On whether she will allow her son know the other children sired by Diamond, Tanasha said: “When I am ready, I will get in touch with Zari Hassan and Hamisa Mobetto so that my son can get to know his half-siblings.”
Tanasha Oketch is on the cover of April edition of the True Love Magazine.