‘He woke me up with a punch to my face, I’m now done with him!’ Popular actress ends her marriage

By Brian Okoth On Wed, 8 Jul, 2020 16:23 | 4 mins read
Taking to Instagram, Shilole, 32, said she has decided to end her 3-year marriage to her husband Uchebe, whom she started dating in 2016. [PHOTO | COURTESY]
Taking to Instagram, Shilole, 32, said she has decided to end her 3-year marriage to her husband Uchebe, whom she started dating in 2016. [PHOTO | COURTESY]
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    Taking to Instagram, Shilole, 32, said she has decided to end her 3-year marriage to her husband Uchebe, whom she started dating in 2016.

Popular Tanzanian actress Shilole, whose real name is Zena Yusuf Mohammed, has opened up about her violence-riddled marriage.

Taking to Instagram, the 32-year-old film star said she has decided to end her 3-year marriage to her husband Uchebe, whom she started dating in 2016.

Shilole and Uchebe exchanged wedding vows in 2017, one year after they began dating. [PHOTO | COURTESY]

Shilole has two teenage daughters from her previous relationships. She gave birth to her first born child, who is now 18 years old, at the age of 14, after an alleged defilement ordeal.

On Wednesday, July 8, she took to picture-and-video-sharing site, Instagram, to allege that she had been a victim of domestic abuse throughout her 3-year marriage to her partner, Uchebe. The actress’ husband is yet to respond to her claims:

Below the Instagram link is Shilole’s narration as translated by K24 Digital from Swahili to English:

View this post on Instagram

Naandika haya, nikiwa na akili timamu na utulivu, La kwanza kabisa nataka KUOMBA RADHI JAMII YANGU. Naomba radhi kwa sababu niliwaaminisha ndoa yangu haina tatizo, huku ukweli ukiwa hauko hivyo, nimekuwa mtu wa kuambulia vipigo na MENGINE yasiyozungumzika, Naomba radhi kwa sababu niliposikia wanawake wenzangu wakipigwa niliwaambia PAZENI SAUTI, niliposikia mwanamke kule Kigamboni ameuwawa na kuchomwa moto niliomboleza na jamii na kusema Bora angesema".. huku mimi nikijikausha na kujitoa kwenye kundi lao wakati ukweli wangu MIMI NI MWENZAO, Naomba radhi. . Mimi ni kioo cha jamii, tena sura kubwa ya wanawake. Leo numeona nivunje ukimya kwa kuweka wazi kwamba MUME WANGU ASHRAFU SADIKI, maarufu kama UCHEBE AMEKUWA ANANIPIGA SAAANA, na tena hata baada ya kunipiga hajali kupiga simu wala kujua naendeleaje, nauguzwa na watu baki hospitali, na bado manyanyaso mengine yanayoikosesha hii ninayoiita Ndoa uhai na furaha na zaidi nina WATOTO, watoto wanaoniangalia kama Baba na Mama, leo nikubali kufa na kuacha wanangu barabarani, SITAWEZA . 'Uchebe' ni mwanaume niliyempenda, nilimvumilia kwa madhaifu yote, nikampa kila kitu, (Utu wangu, Mali Zangu na hata palipotakiwa kumuendeleza asimame mwenyewe nilifanya kwakuwa nilijua tuko pamoja), lakini HILO HALIKUWAHI KUZUIA VIPIGO, DHARAU NA USALITI. . Siku 2 zilizopita baada ya kutoka SABASABA KUTAFUTIA WATOTO WANGU NA KUMTAFUTIA YEYE NILIPIGWA SANA. SABABU ZA KUPIGWA NI MIGOGORO MIDOGO YA KAWAIDA AMBAYO IPO KWENYE KILA NDOA, sio kwamba amenifumania au mambo yanayoshindwa kuzungumzika, hapana, Tena Namuheshimu sana, lakini solution aliyoiona ni kunipiga kinyama bila huruma, tena kwa kunishtua na ngumi nikiwa usingizini, Kama mnavyoona picha hapo ni matukio ya siku tofauti tofauti. Najua nitalaumiwa kwa kuweka hili mtandaoni, ILA SINA NAMNA, MAISHA YANGU NI MAISHA YA WATU KWA KIASI KIKUBWA, JAMII INANITAZAMA KAMA MFANO.. Nimefika mwisho, na kuanzia sasa naomba nisitambulike kama Mke wa Uchebe, ila Mama alieamua kuweka maslahi ya watoto wake mbele na kuamua kuwa mwenyewe kwa usalama na furaha yake Wakati nahangaikia mambo yangu ya ndoa, post hii itumike kuwakumbusha wanawake TUVUNJE UKIMYA, TUPINGE UKATILI, TUTAKUJA KUULIWA SABABU

A post shared by Shilole (@officialshilole) on

Shilole’s post on Instagram on Wednesday, July 8, 2020. | INSTAGRAM

“I am writing this with a clear mind and conscience. First, I would like to apologise to my family. I am seeking your forgiveness because I assured you that my marriage was trouble-free, while in reality, it wasn’t peaceful. I have been a victim of domestic violence and other evil acts I cannot speak about on this platform.

“I apologise because every time I heard my fellow women cry for justice after being assaulted by their spouses, I would urge them to voice out their grievances. When I heard that there was a woman from Kigamboni, who had been fatally battered and her body set alight by her husband, I was the first one to say: ‘she should have spoken out about her marital troubles’. I pretended that I was not one of the domestic abuse victims; I distanced myself from the group of women who were victims of domestic violence. Forgive me.

“[As an artist], I am a role model to many in the society; I represent women on many fronts. Today, I have decided to break my silence on my marital woes. My husband Ashrafu Sadiki, popularly known as Uchebe, has been battering me too much!

“And, after meting out violence on me, he never calls to show concern or know about my wellbeing. Other people, unknown to me, are the ones who usually nurse me in hospitals after being beaten up by my spouse. In my marriage, there are many other bad things that have been done to me, making my union lack the expected bliss.

“Making matters worse, I am a mother; a parent of children who look up to me as their mother and father. I won’t allow myself to be killed and leave my children motherless, not today!

“I loved Uchebe, I persevered to be with him despite his inadequacies; I gave him everything (my innocence, my wealth, and when he needed a woman to stand by him so that he could get on his feet — financially and socially — I was there for him). I did all that because I knew he and I were together in everything as husband and wife. Despite all that, my sacrifices did not stop him from battering me endlessly, disrespecting and betraying me.

“Two days ago, when I returned home from my livelihood-seeking activities in Dar es Salaam, he seriously beat me up, forgetting that I had gone out there to look for food not only for my children, but also him. Why did he assault me? Because of petty marital conflicts that are present in all marriages. He did not batter me because he had found me cheating on him, or on issues that are hard to solve through dialogue, no. Furthermore, I respect him so much.

“Nonetheless, he saw the best way of solving the small dispute that we had, was through battering me senselessly. I was asleep when he punched me in the face.

“I know there is a section of people who will fault me for bringing to social media my marital woes, however, I would like to tell them that I was left with no other choice but to share my predicaments on this platform. What happens in my life, [being a public figure], should be known by my fans. Many people in the society look up to me as their role model.

“I have had enough [of domestic abuse], and from now henceforth, I would like to state categorically that no one should refer to me as Uchebe’s wife. People should refer to me as ‘that mother who chose to prioritise her children’s welfare and wellbeing at the expense of a toxic relationship’. They should describe me as ‘that woman who chose her happiness and safety [over a violence-ridden marriage].

“My female fans and other women in the society, should use this social media post of mine as a strong message that says ‘we [as women] should speak up when we have been reduced to punching bags and recipients of brutality, because if we don’t, we’ll end up dead someday’.”

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